(cue-ing theme song from "Keeping up Appearances"!)
Conversation between hubby and I, as we are coming down from Santaquin Canyon:
Hubs: "Trump's right, we need to secure the borders and vet the refugees. We need to protect our country!"
Me: "Yes, I agree. But dear! Not everyone is a criminal! A wall is ridiculous! Certainly we can make a pathway to citizenship! I've been with people working in the fields that have come from Mexico! They just want to make a better life for themselves and their families! Trump is too severe! He thinks everyone coming in is a criminal!"
Hubs: "Trump is right. Right now we have too much criminal activity, and ISIS is a threat! We need to take care of our country and make it safe. That doesn't mean we can't let immigrants, honest people come in. But we need a way to protect ourselves!"
Turning to my sweet hubby, I say, "Dear. Is this the first chink in our marriage?!" And we both crack up laughing!
(This story told with, and on, the advice of my hubby!)
CUE: KEEPING UP APPEARANCES!
The truth is, we've never disagreed in politics before, and a lot of things Mr. Trump has said has hit a lot of triggers with me. So, we have had some spirited discussions. Now, we just agree to disagree. And that's ok!
But sometimes, I find myself leaning back and counting to ten.
Hubs (paraphrase) "something something Trump.."
Me: (leaning head back in car on our way to our date destination) (In my head... 1, 2, 3,...)
Hubs: (paraphrasing) "and Trump will...)
Me: (still with head back) "Oh yes, I see what you mean!" I smile and lean my head back, (In my head... 4,5,6.... he is such a good man. He did the dishes today!)
Hubs: "something something 3rd party something Trump..."
Me: "Oh yes, hadn't thought of that..." (in my head... 7,8,9....)
Hubs: "Trump is ... "
Me: (in my head, 10!) "Oh honey, we are in downtown Payson, I sure wish small town Main Streets would make a come-back!"
Hubs: "Hey, you changed the subject! Smooth!!!"
And we both laugh! And I say,
"I"m hungry, let's go eat right here. I LOVE this Mexican restaurant!" (Can I just plug "Mi Rancherito" on Utah Avenue in Payson, Utah. YUM! The Jose special was SPECTACULAR! It fed me for 2 meals after sharing it with Hubby!)
Sigh... election season needs to be OVER!
I can't begrudge my husband his joy. He loves politics, and loves to read about the history of our country and our Constitution. And I do agree with him on many points. But even if I didn't, I adore my hubby!
Earlier in the week, we spent all day in the Payson Temple.
Spending the day in there with the love of my life made my heart grow for this man! (mushy drool alert!) I would look at him and just melt! He is an amazing man who does so much for his family and I am incredibly lucky to have him.
And I have to wonder, if I am mildly annoyed at political talk, how must HE feel about THIS:
Welcome to my projects! Yep, my poor husband! If you will note, the two middle pictures are in HIS garage! Now, a man's garage is his kingdom. My husband is an incredible handyman and all his tools and things are in there. Until.. well... I invaded it. I LOVE a project! On the left hand side is an antique highchair I picked up, I'll be starting on it tomorrow. I have plans to refurbish it. In the middle are various projects: a school desk, a piano ( I love the free section on KSL!), and two parts of the hutch that is shown on the end.
I see my poor hubby grimace when I say, "What do you think? Should I go pick this up?" Let me tell you what this dear man did tonight.
I wanted that hutch. The day I subscribed to the indoor yard sale sites was the day my HUBBY had to be the one to count to ten! I found this hutch for pennies, the guy advertised it as needing refurbished so he all but gave it away. Hubby grimaced because we are still working on the kitchen, and he wondered where would we put it, and when would we work on it? But, noticing I have been looking for a way to create my own hutch from items from thrift stores, he hopped in his car, picked up our Suburban from our son, acquired the hutch, and brought it home for me.
And I was humbled.
That took an incredible amount of love and kindness to do that for me. And I can't begin to express the amount of gratitude I feel for this man.
In my Family 300 class I'm taking from BYU-I, we are reading a book called "Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage" by H. Wallace Goddard.
In chapter two we read: "I think of the allegory of a man who had two friends in the manufactured-home business. When he wanted a new house, he asked each friend to send him half a house. He gave no plans. He provided no specification on size or style. He left them to design as they would. So each friend sent a lovely half-house. When the two halves arrived at the site, they were jarringly different. Rooms did not line up. Utilities did not match up. Roofs and walls between the two halves did not connect.
This is a pretty good symbol for marriage. Each of us is created in a different 'factory', or family. Two people come together assuming that they will readily connect. But we soon find that our traditions, expectations, assumptions, and ways of life do not line up. The more time that passes, the more clear the differences.
Unfortunately, we apply value judgements to our differences: 'Your family doesn't care about punctuality.' 'Well, your family doesn't care about people.' Each of us is inclined to believe that the way we have chosen (or been raised) is the better way. And we are tempted to pull our half-house down the road until we can find a better match. But we never match up perfectly with another human being.
What a glorious opportunity for accommodation! God knew that marriage would provide us unending opportunities to negotiate everything from what's okay to wear on the Sabbath to what spices are favored in meals. When our relationship is built upon a firm commitment, it can endure-even thrive-in all these negotiations."
Can I just say, the house that's put together from those two different halves of the house can make an INCREDIBLE home?! And for those of us that believe in a higher power... God... and invite Him into the marriage, I believe that He can do amazing things in helping reconfigure the house into a perfect place to be.
BUT SERIOUSLY. BUILDING MARRIAGE THROUGH... SACRIFICE?!
That's exactly what this man of mine did tonight.
This amazing man. When I read this from the above mentioned book:
"Personal characteristics that we enjoy in some settings become irritations in others. This fact poses a special challenge in marriage. .... Marriage requires that we do more than tolerate the lesser side of each other's qualities. Over the course of time- even in the best marriages- fundamental, irresolvable differences develop. For example, in one marriage, his unlimited ideas for creative use of money threaten the family's financial well-being and the couple's ultimate retirement. In another, her need to spend abundant time with friends leaves him feeling unvalued and unloved. Every couple has some fundamental difference ..."
I was the irritant! Poor hubby! And what did he do?
From the book: "Tzvetan Todorov, a social commentator, invites us to think differently: 'To care about someone does not mean sacrificing one's time and energy for that person. It means devoting them to the person and taking joy in doing so; in the end, one feels richer for one's efforts, not poorer.'"
Hmmmm.... my sweet hubby! Well, if you will excuse me, please, I'm going to go pour myself and my hubby a cup of lemonade, grab his favorite cookies, and go ask him to share with me his feelings about Mr. Trump and the Supreme Court. It will make him happy!
Wonderfully written my dear! But you are too kind about me!
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