The Sewing Machine

When I was 13 years old my mother needed a new sewing machine.  She enjoyed sewing, and I remember her making clothes for my brother and I, and my father.

One Saturday afternoon in December 1977 my mother was not home, and my father was heading out the door. As he was leaving, he said, " Bren, (what he sometimes called me), I'm heading out to Sears to get your mom a new sewing machine. Want to come with me?"  Jumping at the chance to hang out with my dad for a few minutes, I said yes.

My mom got a lot of joy out of sewing, and on the way to Sears my dad told me about his plans. He wanted to surprise her, so he planned to hide the sewing machine on Christmas morning in a place she wouldn't see it. When everyone had opened their presents, he would surprise her with it. He wanted her to believe that all the presents were opened up first.  That was a wonderful trip with my father. He took care to ask the salesman what machine he thought was best.  The salesman showed my dad all the gadgets and cams that went with the machine. Satisfied that the sewing machine he picked out was the best, and worthy of my mother, dad purchased a beautiful Kenmore sewing machine for Christmas.

Christmas Eve, after everyone went to bed, dad hid the machine in the very back of the Christmas tree. On Christmas morning dad played "Santa Clause" and handed out the presents to everyone in turn.  After all the presents were open,  everyone sat around talking and thanking each other for their gifts:

                                          L to R: me, Grandma Logan (Mima), Uncle David Logan.

It was at that moment that Dad called out,  "Wait! Hold on everyone! I think I forgot something behind the Christmas tree! Hang on, let me see what it is!"  As he pulled out Mom's new machine, he held it up for everyone to see, then walked it over to my mother and said, "Yep, I think this is yours!"

                                          On floor: Scott Schubert, standing: my mother Cecelia Logan,
                                          and back of my father, Gerald Logan.

                                     
My mother was thrilled!

                                         Mom with machine, Aunt Linda Schubert on couch.
                                        (for any family that might be reading this: nativity on
                                         TV is the set Grandma Logan made.)

For the rest of her life mom kept that sewing machine. It was her treasure. When she no longer could sew she handed it down to me. One day, I'll learn how to use it!

Dad put a lot of thought into that machine. He loved her and wanted her to have the best, something that would make her happy.  And when I look at that sewing machine I'm reminded of that Christmas and how much it meant to my father to do something special for my mother. 

In one of the scriptures that members of my church hold as sacred, the Doctrine and Covenants, there is a verse that reads:

"Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great."

In my story, it was a sewing machine, but it wasn't just the machine that had meaning. It was my father taking the time to know what my mother needed. He had listened to her.  Then, he took time to find what would meet her needs in the best way. 

In marriage, (and in any relationship, really) this is called "turning towards one another."  Taking the time to listen and consider what the other person needs is vital to strengthening our relationships.  

And, it doesn't have to be about something as large as a sewing machine, either! 

Remember all my projects that have taken over my dear hubby's garage?  (hehehe!)  The other day I took a break from my studies to work on this:

I was stripping it, getting it ready to either re-stain or paint.  I texted Steve while he was at work.  I'm certain my question could have waited until he came home, but I think maybe there was a part of me that wanted him to feel proud of me!  I sent him a picture of an area I had stripped and cleaned and asked him what wood he thought it was.  Thoughtfully he did reply.  It was a little thing, but it made me feel good that he took 5 seconds when he had a second and acknowledged me.  It's not that I'm needy,  but more that I wanted to share with him something I was doing at that moment.

It's the little things, the smile across a room, the need for a hug that is given.  Those are the things that strengthen the bonds of marriage!

Mr. Trump! You're trampling on my "Happily Ever After"!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtVzhmCIfog

(cue-ing theme song from "Keeping up Appearances"!)

Conversation between hubby and I, as we are coming down from Santaquin Canyon:

Hubs: "Trump's right, we need to secure the borders and vet the refugees. We need to protect our country!"

Me: "Yes, I agree. But dear! Not everyone is a criminal! A wall is ridiculous!  Certainly we can make a pathway to citizenship! I've been with people working in the fields that have come from Mexico! They just want to make a better life for themselves and their families! Trump is too severe! He thinks everyone coming in is a criminal!"

Hubs: "Trump is right. Right now we have too much criminal activity, and ISIS is a threat! We need to take care of our country and make it safe.  That doesn't mean we can't let immigrants, honest people come in. But we need a way to protect ourselves!"

Turning to my sweet hubby, I say, "Dear. Is this the first chink in our marriage?!" And we both crack up laughing! 

(This story told with, and on, the advice of my hubby!)

CUE: KEEPING UP APPEARANCES!

The truth is, we've never disagreed in politics before, and a lot of things Mr. Trump has said has hit a lot of triggers with me.  So, we have had some spirited discussions. Now, we just agree to disagree.  And that's ok!

But sometimes, I find myself leaning back and counting to ten.

Hubs (paraphrase) "something something Trump.."

Me: (leaning head back in car on our way to our date destination) (In my head... 1, 2, 3,...)

Hubs: (paraphrasing) "and Trump will...)

Me: (still with head back) "Oh yes, I see what you mean!" I smile and lean my head back, (In my head... 4,5,6....  he is such a good man. He did the dishes today!)

Hubs: "something something 3rd party something Trump..."

Me:  "Oh yes, hadn't thought of that..." (in my head... 7,8,9....)

Hubs: "Trump is ... "

Me: (in my head, 10!)  "Oh honey, we are in downtown Payson, I sure wish small town Main Streets would make a come-back!"

Hubs: "Hey, you changed the subject! Smooth!!!"

And we both laugh!  And I say, 

"I"m hungry, let's go eat right here. I LOVE this Mexican restaurant!"  (Can I just plug "Mi Rancherito" on Utah Avenue in Payson, Utah. YUM!  The Jose special was SPECTACULAR!  It fed me for 2 meals after sharing it with Hubby!)

Sigh... election season needs to be OVER!

I can't begrudge my husband his joy. He loves politics, and loves to read about the history of our country and our Constitution. And I do agree with him on many points. But even if I didn't, I adore my hubby! 

Earlier in the week, we spent all day in the Payson Temple.

Spending the day in there with the love of my life made my heart grow for this man! (mushy drool alert!)  I would look at him and just melt!  He is an amazing man who does so much for his family and I am incredibly lucky to have him.

And I have to wonder, if I am mildly annoyed at political talk, how must HE feel about THIS:

Welcome to my projects! Yep, my poor husband! If you will note, the two middle pictures are in HIS garage!  Now, a man's garage is his kingdom.  My husband is an incredible handyman and all his tools and things are in there. Until.. well... I invaded it.  I LOVE a project!  On the left hand side is an antique highchair I picked up, I'll be starting on it tomorrow. I have plans to refurbish it.  In the middle are various projects: a school desk, a piano ( I love the free section on KSL!), and two parts of the hutch that is shown on the end.  

I see my poor hubby grimace when I say, "What do you think? Should I go pick this up?"  Let me tell you what this dear man did tonight.

I wanted that hutch. The day I subscribed to the indoor yard sale sites  was the day my HUBBY had to be the one to count to ten!  I found this hutch for pennies, the guy advertised it as needing refurbished so he all but gave it away.  Hubby grimaced because we are still working on the kitchen, and he wondered where would we put it, and when would we work on it?  But, noticing I have been looking for a way to create my own hutch from items from thrift stores, he hopped in his car,  picked up our Suburban from our son,  acquired the hutch, and brought it home for me.

And I was humbled.  

That took an incredible amount of love and kindness to do that for me.  And I can't begin to express the amount of gratitude I feel for this man.

In my Family 300 class I'm taking from BYU-I,  we are reading a book called "Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage" by H. Wallace Goddard. 

In chapter two we read: "I think of the allegory of a man who had two friends in the manufactured-home business. When he wanted a new house, he asked each friend to send him half a house. He gave no plans. He provided no specification on size or style. He left them to design as they would. So each friend sent a lovely half-house. When the two halves arrived at the site, they were jarringly different. Rooms did not line up. Utilities did not match up. Roofs and walls between the two halves did not connect. 

This is a pretty good symbol for marriage. Each of us is created in a different 'factory', or family. Two people come together assuming that they will readily connect. But we soon find that our traditions, expectations, assumptions, and ways of life do not line up. The more time that passes, the more clear the differences. 

Unfortunately, we apply value judgements to our differences: 'Your family doesn't care about punctuality.' 'Well, your family doesn't care about people.'  Each of us is inclined to believe that the way we have chosen (or been raised) is the better way. And we are tempted to pull our half-house down the road until we can find a better match. But we never match up perfectly with another human being. 

What a glorious opportunity for accommodation! God knew that marriage would provide us unending opportunities to negotiate everything from what's okay to wear on the Sabbath to what spices are favored in meals. When our relationship is built upon a firm commitment, it can endure-even thrive-in all these negotiations."

Can I just say, the house that's put together from those two different halves of the house can make an INCREDIBLE home?!  And for those of us that believe in a higher power... God... and invite Him into the marriage, I believe that He can do amazing things in helping reconfigure the house into a perfect place to be.

BUT SERIOUSLY. BUILDING MARRIAGE THROUGH... SACRIFICE?!

That's exactly what this man of mine did tonight.   

This amazing man.  When I read this from the above mentioned book:

"Personal characteristics that we enjoy in some settings become irritations in others. This fact poses a special challenge in marriage. ....   Marriage requires that we do more than tolerate the lesser side of each other's qualities. Over the course of time- even in the best marriages- fundamental, irresolvable differences develop. For example, in one marriage, his unlimited ideas for creative use of money threaten the family's financial well-being and the couple's ultimate retirement. In another, her need to spend abundant time with friends leaves him feeling unvalued and unloved. Every couple has some fundamental difference ..."

I was the irritant! Poor hubby! And what did he do?

From the book: "Tzvetan Todorov, a social commentator, invites us to think differently: 'To care about someone does not mean sacrificing one's time and energy for that person. It means devoting them to the person and taking joy in doing so; in the end, one feels richer for one's efforts, not poorer.'"

Hmmmm.... my sweet hubby!  Well, if you will excuse me, please, I'm going to go pour myself and my hubby a cup of lemonade, grab his favorite cookies, and go ask him to share with me his feelings about Mr. Trump and the Supreme Court. It will make him happy!  

ICK! No more orange cabinets!

I am not a creative person in the artsy department. That honor goes to my brother Bud! Over the last few years, though, I have become enamored with house improvement projects!

It all started when I had little ones on my lap. Sitting on my rocking chair, I would look at my bare, white walls and wonder what it would be like to paint them a fun color!

But, I've never lifted a paint brush.

And money has ALWAYS been an issue!

So, I would stare at my white walls and wish I could paint them.  I had no idea how to start such a project!

Then, my kids grew up, and I decided that developing some new hobbies was in order. I decided I would paint a side table I bought at a yard sale.

Being the incredible novice that I was, Steve guided me through the process.   I really like a gray and cream color, and here is the finished product:

I think it turned out well!  Thanks to my darling hubby, who taught me how to strip, sand, and stain wood this table turned into something that I really enjoy.  Oh, and those blocks of wood with pictures on them was a creative project I got into, also.  LOL!  

Last week I shared this statement from the "Proclamation on the Family"

"Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith,  prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities."

My husband's guidance and tutoring was, to me, a large measure of respect and compassion, and love.  I felt so good about being able to do this! I've actually gone out and picked out a few more side tables to refurbish, and I have taken on small projects too, to enhance out home.  I made a Welcome sign to hang over our front door, and a "No Soliciting" sign too.

I respect my husband's abilities, so I'm just going to brag a little bit here!  11, 12 years ago my mother went through cancer therapy for laryngeal cancer.  I spent over two months with her while she went through the treatments.  We had purchased our house in 2001... September 2001!  The basement was unfinished, so during this time my hubby did THIS! 

Sooooo.... what exactly has this got to do with marriage?  Well, in that statement in the Proclamation, it states that "wholesome recreation" and "work" help families and marriages stay strong! My hubby-wubby is GOOD at this stuff, and I want to learn. So, he is taking the time to teach me.

Now, we are working on projects together. He could see I was serious about wanting to redecorate the house. And, I've been complaining that I can't stand the "orange" tint in our oak cabinets.  I really wanted to paint them white. I was ready to run out the front door, buy a can of white paint, and start slathering it on!  I wanted my cabinets to look like this:

Rather then a green wall, I've been experimenting with some online tutorials with blue paint. I wanted light blue walls, with black countertops.  Also, our floor is cream tiles with gray grout. 

However, Steve said he didn't want to paint wood cabinets, he'd rather stain them. So, off to Home Depot we went!  He truly wanted to help me get the kitchen look I wanted, so we picked up some white stain. 

In case anyone wonders... you can't stain the natural oak wood white!  LOL!  So,  back to the Home Depot we went, and picked up gray stain.  And, that didn't work either.  We both agreed, we didn't want the 1970's look of dark cabinets.  So, we gave up for awhile.  I was bummed.

One day, I was wandering my favorite aisle at Walmart. No, NOT the chocolate aisle!  I was wandering the paint aisle and saw this:

Honestly, I just couldn't deal with orangey cabinets anymore!  I brought it home and showed it to Steve and he LOVED it! He went to work immediately testing it out on our cabinets. It worked! No more orangey cabinets!   We worked together, with him leading the way! 

I told him I wanted to paint the walls white, thinking "antique white".  He was thinking pure white!  So, he brought home a gallon of pure white paint.  We painted the walls by the cabinets and I discovered he was right.  It made a nice contrast.  Here is a collage of the work.  I sure am proud of my husband, and for being willing to entertain me in this venture.  We are almost done.  The kitchen is an utter mess, but I am rearranging the cabinets.  They are up, but not finished yet. 

      Steve painting                                Erin and Steve as we stained      Going up!

In the last picture, you can see that the cabinets are not even. That is by design. Steve thoughtfully lowered what he could for me. I'm pretty darn short!  

I'm going to lighten the counter tops, and Steve wants to tile the backsplash area.  This has been a fun work/wholesome recreation project for both of us!

I can say this has been so much fun to do with my hubby!  We've had so much fun looking at ideas and going to the Home Depot to look at different colored stains and such.  

And I'm grateful for a husband who's been willing to work so hard to help me with my goal, take the time to teach me how to do things, and put his expertise to work for me.  I love my hubby!  

      

For Time and All Eternity. Well, if I don't hit him over the head with my frying pan, first!

We had recently moved into our new home, our first house. Our first child was just 7 months old.  

     It was an older home and we loved it.  It had a basement apartment, and our home upstairs was 2 bedrooms one bath. As it was an older home, the bathroom just had a sink attached to the wall with a mirrored medicine cabinet above it. The bathroom had a windowsill that looked out to the neighbor’s house.

     There was no storage space in the bathroom, but there was a wide linen closet with drawers underneath just outside the bathroom door.  This is where we put all of our bathroom necessities such as shampoo, makeup, and lotions. 

     Shortly after moving in I noticed Steve’s toiletries beginning to fill up on the windowsill in the bathroom.  I wanted to open that window, so I teased Steve about putting his things there as it was blocking the way.  Apologizing, he immediately removed them and set his things into the linen closet.

      All was well for the next week.   I don’t know how it happened.  I must have absent-mindedly set it there. Or was it that I set “them” there, because I was sure it was just one item, or maybe two? And they weren’t there for THAT long, were they?

       One day I heard my husband laughing from the bathroom, and I heard him say, “Oh, NOW I get it!”  I walk over to the bathroom door and ask, “What do you get?”  Opening the door, he gestures wide, inviting me to look at the window and said, “You wanted me to remove my things from the window so you could put YOUR stuff there!”  I looked at the windowsill and by golly there was an entire row of lotion and shampoo and face cleaner.  How did they get there? Certainly I didn’t put them there, did I?! 

     In fact, I Had put them there! It’s funny how these things happen! The simple reality was that it was a handy spot to set my shampoo when I was in the shower, and a place to set my lotion when I stepped out of the shower.  Over the period of just a few days I had filled the window sill with my own toiletries!

Mea Culpa. My bad!

I hadn’t intended to work a double standard there, and my husband graciously forgave me and kept a sense of humor about it. We still laugh about this incident 27 years later.

     Why do I share this story? Is it because I think I’ve married the perfect man? Of course it is! Because I did marry the perfect man!  

      Besides talking about my amazing and gorgeous hubby, I wanted to talk about how we can make a marriage great!

      The Proclamation on the Family states:

       “Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.”

           So using the Proclamation as a guide, we learn that the teachings of Jesus Christ can help us build successful marriage, listing the principles he taught: faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreation. 

         The story of the windowsill, my husband used forgiveness and probably compassion, and I’m grateful for both! (And a sense of humor!) The wonderful thing about forgiveness is, it not only frees the person forgiving from the horrible emotions of bitterness and anger, it frees the person needing forgiveness from feeling the need to put up defense barriers (which often happens unconsciously) and hide, and gives them the gift of gratitude and the freedom to improve. 

         Do prayer and faith have any bearing for a successful marriage? Absolutely.

Praying for each other:  There have been times when my health has been a challenge, I’ve seen my husband go to his knees in prayer.  Later I’ll begin to feel a better.  My husband has the Priesthood, which allows him to give me Priesthood blessings. There have been times when I cannot sleep and the exhaustion and frustration will reach a peak, and I burst out crying.  This bothers my husband, and he will give me a priesthood blessing. Each time he’s given me a blessing, I’ve been able to sleep.

We’ve also gone to the Lord in prayer when a major decision needs to be made. Through the Foster Care system, we were asked to adopt a child.  We felt for this little girl but wanted to take such a life-altering decision to careful thought and prayer.  One night, after giving the situation much thought, we knelt in prayer to ask for His spirit to guide us as we went over the pro’s and cons of bringing this child into our home.  We came to a decision, then took our decision to the Lord.  We felt a sureness and a peace that our decision was the right one, we could not bring this little one into our family.  I later found out that after we said no, they had placed her within a family that met her needs perfectly.

That portion of the Proclamation has so much more I want to add here, but I don’t want to make this too long. So, I will add more in my next blog post.

But I do think that forgiving one another, praying for each other, acts of kindness, a sense of humor, and sharing hobbies/recreational activities together are some of the glue that keeps marriage, and families, alive!

That’s all for now!

Reply to Thread

Why Marriage, take 2!

Hang on, this is going to be a long one!

At the age of 16 I was introduced to, then joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  The teachings and truths I found in this church were so precious to me. They profoundly impacted my life. As I attended the church I felt a sweet, beautiful spirit.  I knew in my heart this was God leading me to this place, and that it was good. I made a choice to believe, to follow that spirit that led me to a place of peace. Here are the beliefs I hold dear to my heart, as taught by the LDS church. These are just a few of them, but I feel they will be relevant for my blog post.

Some of the Articles of Faith: (numbers in parenthesis denote number of Article of Faith)

• We believe in God, the Eternal Father, and in His son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost. (1)
• We believe that through the Atonement of Jesus Christ all mankind may be saved, by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the Gospel. (3)
• We believe that the first principle and ordinances of the gospel are: First, Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. Second, repentance. Third, baptism by immersion for the remission of sins. Fourth, laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost. (4)
• We believe that a man must be called of God, by prophecy, and by the laying on of hands by those in authority, to preach the gospel and administer in the ordinances thereof. (5)
• We believe in the same organization that existed in the primitive Church, namely apostles, prophets, pastors, teachers, evangelists, and so forth. (6)
• We believe in the gift of tongues, prophecy, revelation, visions, healing, interpretation of tongues, and so forth. (7)
• We claim the right of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience and allow all men the same privilege. Let them worship how, where, or what they may. (11)
• We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law. (12)
• We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and doing good to all men. Indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul – We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything lovely, or of good report, or praiseworthy, we seek after these things. (13)
  

And we also believe:

• We are children of our Father in Heaven, who loves us deeply. We lived with Him before we were born (Old Testament Ecclesiastes 12:7, “Then shall the dust return to the earth as it was, and the spirit shall return unto God who gave it. Something or someone  can’t return to a place they haven’t been before.  
• He created this world for us to come to, to gain our bodies, to learn (I think of it as a school), and to learn to follow Him in faith.
• He gave us the commandments, and teachings through the Savior and through His prophets to protect us, to teach us what we needed to do to be happy, and to return to Him.

I think of the laws of God this way:

• One day I was taking a walk thinking of my family and how much I loved them. I was praying, thanking God for my husband and my children. My heart just filled with love for them! The scripture in Exodus came into my mind, Exodus 20::5, “I, the Lord thy God am a jealous God…” and I understood what it meant.  Understanding what the original Hebrew word for jealous meant… “sensitive and deep feeling”, I understood that God loves us as deeply, actually more deeply and perfectly, then I love my own children. I am passionate about my children, and now my grandchildren.  How much more deeply and passionately must He love us!
• I have always felt protective of my children. I gave my children rules to teach them, and to protect them from harm. There were things I knew would hurt them that, as they were growing up, they couldn’t understand.  So it is with God. Those things He tells us we need to do are for our growth, and protection.

What’s this got to do with marriage and families?

Well... (CUE WEDDING WALTZ HERE...) (CUE CUTE FAMILY PHOTO HERE.)

First, God is a God of love, He is our Father.  He has prophets and apostles on this earth, and in the Old Testament He said that, “surely the Lord God will do nothing but He revealeth His secrets unto His servants the prophets.”

So, as I connect these teachings that I hold close to my heart, I come to a document written in 1995 by then President of the Church Gordon B. Hinckley, his counselors, and the 12 apostles of the church called “The Proclamation on the Family”.  It is my belief that as I consider these men to be men of God, and it was announced and read in a church meeting, this is an inspired document from God.  I choose to believe and follow those principles outlined in this document.

In the Proclamation, we’re told these principles:

• IN THE PRE-MORTAL REALM,spirit sons and daughters knew and worshipped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan ….The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.
• THE FAMILY is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.

Oh, I love this! 

In the Proclamation we learn that marriage and family are eternal principles.  Marriage is ordained of God, and families are forever. 

I believe God intends for us to be happy.  Contained within just these two paragraphs of the Proclamation.. and there is more to the Proclamation then just these two paragraphs, are principles that lead to security and peace within family life. 

Families are forever, it’s an eternal principle. This is why marriage.

A picture of a rendition of the Savior, just because I love Him.  He is my hope,  joy, and peace.