We had recently moved into our new home, our first house. Our first child was just 7 months old.
It was an older home and we loved it. It had a basement apartment, and our home upstairs was 2 bedrooms one bath. As it was an older home, the bathroom just had a sink attached to the wall with a mirrored medicine cabinet above it. The bathroom had a windowsill that looked out to the neighbor’s house.
There was no storage space in the bathroom, but there was a wide linen closet with drawers underneath just outside the bathroom door. This is where we put all of our bathroom necessities such as shampoo, makeup, and lotions.
Shortly after moving in I noticed Steve’s toiletries beginning to fill up on the windowsill in the bathroom. I wanted to open that window, so I teased Steve about putting his things there as it was blocking the way. Apologizing, he immediately removed them and set his things into the linen closet.
All was well for the next week. I don’t know how it happened. I must have absent-mindedly set it there. Or was it that I set “them” there, because I was sure it was just one item, or maybe two? And they weren’t there for THAT long, were they?
One day I heard my husband laughing from the bathroom, and I heard him say, “Oh, NOW I get it!” I walk over to the bathroom door and ask, “What do you get?” Opening the door, he gestures wide, inviting me to look at the window and said, “You wanted me to remove my things from the window so you could put YOUR stuff there!” I looked at the windowsill and by golly there was an entire row of lotion and shampoo and face cleaner. How did they get there? Certainly I didn’t put them there, did I?!
In fact, I Had put them there! It’s funny how these things happen! The simple reality was that it was a handy spot to set my shampoo when I was in the shower, and a place to set my lotion when I stepped out of the shower. Over the period of just a few days I had filled the window sill with my own toiletries!
Mea Culpa. My bad!
I hadn’t intended to work a double standard there, and my husband graciously forgave me and kept a sense of humor about it. We still laugh about this incident 27 years later.
Why do I share this story? Is it because I think I’ve married the perfect man? Of course it is! Because I did marry the perfect man!
Besides talking about my amazing and gorgeous hubby, I wanted to talk about how we can make a marriage great!
The Proclamation on the Family states:
“Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.”
So using the Proclamation as a guide, we learn that the teachings of Jesus Christ can help us build successful marriage, listing the principles he taught: faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreation.
The story of the windowsill, my husband used forgiveness and probably compassion, and I’m grateful for both! (And a sense of humor!) The wonderful thing about forgiveness is, it not only frees the person forgiving from the horrible emotions of bitterness and anger, it frees the person needing forgiveness from feeling the need to put up defense barriers (which often happens unconsciously) and hide, and gives them the gift of gratitude and the freedom to improve.
Do prayer and faith have any bearing for a successful marriage? Absolutely.
Praying for each other: There have been times when my health has been a challenge, I’ve seen my husband go to his knees in prayer. Later I’ll begin to feel a better. My husband has the Priesthood, which allows him to give me Priesthood blessings. There have been times when I cannot sleep and the exhaustion and frustration will reach a peak, and I burst out crying. This bothers my husband, and he will give me a priesthood blessing. Each time he’s given me a blessing, I’ve been able to sleep.
We’ve also gone to the Lord in prayer when a major decision needs to be made. Through the Foster Care system, we were asked to adopt a child. We felt for this little girl but wanted to take such a life-altering decision to careful thought and prayer. One night, after giving the situation much thought, we knelt in prayer to ask for His spirit to guide us as we went over the pro’s and cons of bringing this child into our home. We came to a decision, then took our decision to the Lord. We felt a sureness and a peace that our decision was the right one, we could not bring this little one into our family. I later found out that after we said no, they had placed her within a family that met her needs perfectly.
That portion of the Proclamation has so much more I want to add here, but I don’t want to make this too long. So, I will add more in my next blog post.
But I do think that forgiving one another, praying for each other, acts of kindness, a sense of humor, and sharing hobbies/recreational activities together are some of the glue that keeps marriage, and families, alive!
That’s all for now!
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