1- Partings: 2 minutes a day, for 5 working days = 10 minutes. Take 2 minutes each morning and find out about one thing that will be happening in your spouses life that day. It could be something work related, or meeting up with an old friend.
2- Reunions: When you meet up again, for example when your husband gets home from work, Gottman recommends at least six seconds of a hug and a kiss. He also recommends spending at least 20 minutes talking about each other's day. Do this each day for at least 5 days a week.
3- Admiration and appreciation: spend at least 5 minutes a day, every day of the week, communicating to your spouse genuine appreciation for something they have done, or a quality you admire and respect in them. Also, show genuine admiration and love to them. Let them know you love them.
4- Affection: spend 5 minutes a day, every day of the week, to show physical affection to your spouse. A hug and a snuggle at the end of the day, and a good night kiss!
5- Weekly date: Spend at least 2 hours a week spending time alone to talk, to reconnect, and to get to know your spouse. Ask questions about each other, find out what each other desires or how things are going at work. Reconnect and update what Gottman calls your "love maps".
6- State of the union meeting: Spend 1 hour a week updating your marriage, doing the following:
a- talk about all the things that went right that week with the both of you, then
b- Each of you express 5 things you appreciated about each other that week.
c- Address any issues that may have arisen that week that might need addressing. Start out slowly,
and listen carefully to what each other has to say. Use the skills he teaches in the book to solve
the issues that may have arisen. Then ask each other:
What can I do this week to make you feel loved this week?
I love that last question! I've noticed in my marriage, my husband feels loved by the things I do for him. For me, I feel loved by hugs and kisses. For both of us, the end of the week date and time we spend together simply watching a movie and snuggling mean the most to both of us.
Time to invest in at least 6 hours a week together!
2- Reunions: When you meet up again, for example when your husband gets home from work, Gottman recommends at least six seconds of a hug and a kiss. He also recommends spending at least 20 minutes talking about each other's day. Do this each day for at least 5 days a week.
3- Admiration and appreciation: spend at least 5 minutes a day, every day of the week, communicating to your spouse genuine appreciation for something they have done, or a quality you admire and respect in them. Also, show genuine admiration and love to them. Let them know you love them.
4- Affection: spend 5 minutes a day, every day of the week, to show physical affection to your spouse. A hug and a snuggle at the end of the day, and a good night kiss!
5- Weekly date: Spend at least 2 hours a week spending time alone to talk, to reconnect, and to get to know your spouse. Ask questions about each other, find out what each other desires or how things are going at work. Reconnect and update what Gottman calls your "love maps".
6- State of the union meeting: Spend 1 hour a week updating your marriage, doing the following:
a- talk about all the things that went right that week with the both of you, then
b- Each of you express 5 things you appreciated about each other that week.
c- Address any issues that may have arisen that week that might need addressing. Start out slowly,
and listen carefully to what each other has to say. Use the skills he teaches in the book to solve
the issues that may have arisen. Then ask each other:
What can I do this week to make you feel loved this week?
I love that last question! I've noticed in my marriage, my husband feels loved by the things I do for him. For me, I feel loved by hugs and kisses. For both of us, the end of the week date and time we spend together simply watching a movie and snuggling mean the most to both of us.
Time to invest in at least 6 hours a week together!
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