The highchair

So, in between working on school classes and taking care of family, and just everyday endeavors, I've been working on this project:

I LOVE working on projects! It's something that makes me happy.  I love taking something old and used and making it new again.  I spend hours looking at different ways of refurbishing something. For this chair, I've tried to make up my mind between staining it after cleaning and stripping it, or painting it. As this is all wood, it seems a shame to paint it.  But, I had originally purchased this at a garage sale to resell, but I tend to get attached to something I've worked on.  Then again, I have another vintage wood high chair I can also refurbish to keep.  But then again, at Christmas I get to have all 4 of my grand-babies  here so won't I need at least 2 high chairs?  Such is my rationalization!  LOL!  

When looking at different refurbished vintage wood high chairs, I found two colors of paint I really want to use. One is a pale light pink, the other is a light blue. Well, that's perfect! I have on girl granddaughter and I'm just SURE someday I'll have another, and I have 3 grandsons! Great reason to keep them, don't you think?! 

Once the paint drys, I have plans of stenciling a picture on the back of the highchair. I'm just so excited! I have my vision of how I want this to be! 

What solidified my decision to paint the chair was this:

There are a lot of scratches and such on this chair.  And, the tone of the wood is uneven.  I've been trying to determine if it is just the wood, or the previous stain.  The wood, in a lot of places, is quite light, and soft. In other places it doesn't seem as light or soft.  So, maybe there are several types of wood? Regardless, the seat is quite worn in some spots.   

Now that I have my vision in mind, the work to make that vision a reality has begun.  

This chair was incredibly dirty, so my first step was to give it a good initial wipe down.  The varnish was worn, and thick. After the wipe down, I put stripper on and let it set for an hour, per the instructions.  

The stripping has been an incredibly long and tedious project.  In some places the varnish has been thick and stubborn.  I don't want to scratch the wood or damage it anymore then it is, so I've been careful with the scrapper. In some places, I've had to use the stripper twice.  So, I strip the varnish in one area, lightly sand, then clean that area with a mix of Murphy's wood cleaner and water, per the instructions.  I'm almost done with this part of the project. Hurrah!!!   Hopefully, by next Monday when I post again, I'll have this painted! I'll take pictures and post it here!

I guess this is a lot like marriage, isn't it? (You knew that had to be coming, because this is a blog about marriage! )

Before marriage, you have a vision of what you want it to be.  For me, that meant an eternal "vision", per the "Proclamation on the Family"

"The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally." 

Meaning, hubby and I can be together forever.  And, this part of the Proclamation meant, and means, so much to me:

"Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities."

When we were first married, it's easy to be unified and forgive each other. Everything is happy in the first year of marriage! Then reality sets in.

Because, dang it, he doesn't put the pots and pans away I like, and I crowd out the bathroom with my things! 

And then the bigger, real problems set in. I don't do things the way his parents did, and he doesn't do things the way my parents did, and we both think that the other "guy" is just out of his mind and all wrong.

Those differences can escalate.  Unless...

We start shaping things and work on the original vision. Just like my highchair. 

For me, that meant scraping away a lot of pride. 

Ezra Taft Benson, a former president of my Church, said this about pride:

"Selfishness is one of the more common faces of pride. 'How everything affects me' is the center of all that matters' ".   And:

"Another face of pride is contention. Arguments, fights, unrighteous dominion, (one thinking they are "boss" over the other.), ... spouse abuse,..  Contention in our families drives the Spirit of the Lord away. It also drives many of our family members away. Contention ranges from a hostile spoken word to worldwide conflict."

It isn't that you don't disagree, but how you disagree.  In my marriage 300 class in college, we are reading a book called "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" by John M. Gottman.  Chapter 4 is about "Letting Your Partner Influence You."  It's taken me years to let go of my pride and strong will, and let Steve "influence" me.  Well, ok, except this year, in the Presidential Race. See:

We've just kind of agreed to disagree, and make a big joke out of it!  My sign is bigger, so I WIN!  LOL! 

Marriage means setting aside our own preconceived notions that we are always right, and our ways and the ways of our own parents and family is always right, and conceding that maybe we can learn something from our spouse.  It means looking out for their happiness first.  

I guess like my hubby letting me put taking the kids out to lunch sometimes into the budget, and me letting him put his sign up next to mine on our front lawn!  (I'm just kidding!)

So here's to "stripping off the old" on me, and painting on the new for something better ... the beauty of what is possible when I share with my husband, and let myself learn from him!